asher's first week of life in the hospital
was one of the longest and most fleeting,
most beautiful and most terrifyingly exhausting,
weeks of my life.
laying in that gorgeous birthing tub, looking out at the beautiful afternoon sky,
realizing that no, the water is NOT going to take away the pain of my baby coming out.
slippery, purple, tiny, perfect baby on my chest grunting for breath.
the sadness and worry of having him taken away.
seeing him so little and sweet in his warming bed, covered with tubes, breathing too fast.
finally skin to skin again with my baby at one day old.
moving to a new room in the nursery.
waiting to see roman again with butterflies in my stomach,
he looked SO big.
watching his eyes twinkle, and seeing the most real smile i've ever seen as he saw his baby brother for the first time.
finally getting to bring my baby to my hospital room for little bittersweet moments at a time.
wrinkly peely newborn skin.
evenings in the nursery with my husband.
watching asher mimick my husband's faces.
finally going home.