thursday morning.

just some photos of our morning.

 holding my newborn. (there aren't enough pictures like this!)

asher having some "diaper-free" time on the porch, to help his poor little rash.

roman and aaron playing basketball together.

summer - please never leave!



three weeks.

just a little asher update.

three weeks old.

having a newborn to photograph is one of the highlights of my life right now,

the other highlight is having a newborn in general :)

first week.

• 

asher's first week of life in the hospital

 was one of the longest and most fleeting,

most beautiful and most terrifyingly exhausting,

most memorable

weeks of my life.

laying in that gorgeous birthing tub, looking out at the beautiful afternoon sky,

realizing that no, the water is NOT going to take away the pain of my baby coming out.

slippery, purple, tiny, perfect baby on my chest grunting for breath.

the sadness and worry of having him taken away.

seeing him so little and sweet in his warming bed, covered with tubes, breathing too fast.

finally skin to skin again with my baby at one day old.

moving to a new room in the nursery.

waiting to see roman again with butterflies in my stomach,

 he looked SO big.

watching his eyes twinkle, and seeing the most real smile i've ever seen as he saw his baby brother for the first time.

finally getting to bring my baby to my hospital room for little bittersweet moments at a time.

wrinkly peely newborn skin.

breastfeeding again.

evenings in the nursery with my husband.

watching asher mimick my husband's faces.

bumblebee blanket.

finally,

finally going home.

meet asher.

asher <3

born july 22 at 6:11 p.m.

7 pounds 12.5 ounces and 21 inches long

i couldn't beleive he was so small, exactly two pounds less than his brother!

after a wonderful natural childbirth, asher spent a long week in the special care nursery. he had decided to start breathing right before he was born, and aspirated amniotic fluid.

we are so happy to finally be home,

and finally all be back together again

as a new family of four :)

at the farm.

went out to logan's farm for photos! logan is my little sister-in-law maggie's best friend.

it was so nice out there, horses, many dogs, pretty sun, and lots of pictures.

hope to go back sometime soon. :)

due date.

well, yesterday has come and gone. my "due date". such pressure surrounding that day, and such pressure i've felt, feeling like the countdown is on.

my midwife appointment today was very emotional, but ultimately refreshing. i finally felt like i really got what i wanted when i decided to switch to midwifery care for this pregnancy. we spent a lot of time talking about my feelings about this birth. and about my decisions on how to handle this last stretch of pregnancy.

afterwards, i had a nice long hour drive home through the countryside with my husband and son. i drank my mcdonalds coffee while unloading a lot of emotions to my husband that have been building up as this birth approaches me.

right now, i feel good. i feel much more peaceful. i feel content with the decisions i've made, to deliver with midwives, an hour away. i feel blessed to have had a good discussion with my husband and to have his love. i feel good about my decisions. oh, and i finally got my aden + anais swaddling blankets that my mom bought me in the mail :) so yeah, it's a good day.

(yesterday,

july 20

my due date.)

my two boys.

this is one of my favorite pregnancy pictures, taken by my husband when i was 33 weeks pregnant. here i am six weeks later, awaiting baby's due date with much anticipation. it's crazy to me that at any moment - everything will change. i'm having a lot of cramping, a lot of contractions. things are moving along, but i still wake up every morning with a sleeping baby tucked inside. things seem so peaceful now, one boy on the outside running around with all my attention showered over him. his brother, just a big round basketball on mommy's tummy. soon there will be two, and everything will be so so different.

and so perfect. :)