little.

"you can always call me little, but i won't always be little."

this is what roman said to me the other night and it broke my heart as motherhood always does. these photos were taken a while back and they definately capture a little bit of the sweetness that is roman. his namaw and papaw bought this curious george for him on his second Christmas and that round little sweet monkey face reminded me just of roman as a toddler. he has certainly already grown since these photos were taken in june. another summer has passed leaving him a little bigger. but he is still  just as sugary sweet and precious to me as the day he was born. and he still has that bright shining round smiling face. i'm thankful that i can always call him little,

 and i'm thankful that today he still is.

end of summer + computer photos.

we've totally been immersed in and enjoying the end of our summer and also the end of our life here in our country home. i just haven't been taking photos, haven't been working out, and have been spending more time just soaking in summer and the days at home with my littles.

 life lately has been full of cleaning and organizing like a maniac, beginning to pack, signing a lease on our new  house in town that is tucked away just enough to make us feel like we aren't in town (thank goodness for my husband's fantastic house finding abilities), deciding on classes for the fall (i STILL have yet to register...), swirling ideas for romey's homeschool going on in my head constantly, joking around with roman and hearing all his wonderful plans for his "school" that he is creating, watching asher change from a baby to a toddler in a blink of an eye, cudding with aaron as the weather slowly is changing to fall.

and slowly accepting the change of it all ;)

time with my oldest boy during asher's nap.

and i had to include this one of asher when he fell asleep on my shoulder :)

brothers.

 yes, every morning around here pretty much starts with roman in tears because asher is attempting to yank roman's hair out.sweet little asher is a total lover of biting and swiping us in the face. i don't know what it is, but he seriously loves to attack us. i guess maybe the reaction is just so exciting to him. i'm not for sure, but he just delights in kicking me in the face as hard as he can, or trying to bite my face off. it can be very trying at moments.
and i've realized by watching my four year old's reaction to this, that roman displays much more patience than i do. i may not cry out as much as roman does, although i definately have my, "ASHER" moments when he is yanking my hair out and kicking me in the face at the same time... but roman is quick to forgive and overall has been amazing with having a fighting biting little brother who doesn't share and doesn't cooperate!
 i want to say that i am more mature and patient and kind than a four year, but some days i really feel like it is the other way around. it's amazing the things that our little ones teach us. roman, with his gentle love towards our family inspires me. so here's to today - a day for me that will probably be filled with listening to roman's plans for his newest creation,  "spooky buddies" and yes probably a few bites from my littlest. hopefully i can handle it with as much grace as a four year old :)

brown county, indiana. 

(p.s. this was taken on our vacation when roman still had a terrible black eye from running into a picnic table!)

zero.

just some photos from asher's last day of being "zero", the day before his first birthday. the birthdays of my little boys always stress me to no end. i don't like that they are getting older, i don't like it one bit. the evening before asher turned one, i tried reasoning myself. i know that his first birthday is a good milestone. asher came into my world with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and his lungs filled with fluid. he was taken from me and no one could tell me that he would be okay. but now he is more than okay, he is wonderful and perfect and i cannot imagine him not being with me. so thank God that he is one, i know that is a good thing. but it's just hard for me to see these days passing away. i want to hold onto them so hard, i never want to let them go. i know that these moments will be the best in my life.

eleven months.

it is asher's last few days as an eleven month old and then he's on to the big one year mark. eek. i took these photos at a playground during our trip last week, so i thought i'd share a little bit of the wonderful that is our asher at eleven months. 

he is snuggly and cuddly, kissy and huggy as ever. he loves to explore and especially eat rocks. he loves the boys' bedroom and has all sorts of adventures in there such as finding the swords and golf clubs or climbing into the toy box and any other basket or box he can squeeze into. 

he loves my hair and loves to sing, he is such a special part of our lives. last night aaron said to me as the boys were wrestling on our bed, "having a second boy was a really good idea." 

and it was, 

asher is the little bit of magic in our days. 

our "littlest". our "happiest".

my four year old right now.

of course everyone thinks that their child is the best in the world, and my feelings about roman are no different. roman is such a gift. i am seeing him just explode into the person that he is. he has such determination and such a fascinating mind. when he gets an idea, he has to get to work and busy himself with it for hours or even days. whether it be science experiments that he is conducting in the bathroom sink or working on his collections of random small objects or making "set ups" of any number of random things - he is always working, creating and organizing. he is very scientific and he thrives reading science books that are way above his age level. he is a self proclaimed artist and sometimes at night he can't sleep until he draws - getting down on paper all the things swirling around in his busy mind. he loves to read books and is continuing to learn sounds and sight words. i have thrown in the towel as far as organized homeschooling for the summer but i keep thinking about next year and how excited i am to nurture this creative smart young mind.

to my almost one year old.

to my almost one year old:

oh asher, 

your big open mouthed kisses, your curly wispy blond hair, your ever-willing smile, your wiggling and giggling on the bed, the way you tip your head back and do your ridiculous old man chuckle, the way you sing with me, the way you great each morning with hugs and kisses and cuddles.

oh asher,

 you are the sweet happy sunshine in my sky.

thank you for coming into my life, 

for growing inside me, for bringing me life and birth and new love, 

for allowing me to mother and cherish you
all the days of my life.