then + now.

(asher + mama, september 2011)

(asher + mama september 2012)

a lot has changed since last fall when we moved into this house. but a lot is still the same.
a little newborn has learned to sit and stand and crawl and walk and turned into a toddler.
 our little peachy three year old has become an artist, a super hero, a tee ball player and has also turned four.
and aaron and i have gained another year as parents and as partners to each other.
 and now it's time to move on and move all our stuff with us to a new house. and a year from now, who knows where we'll be ;)

flashback.

(roman, 2009)

it seems like just yesterday it was this guy who was my little toddler running around. and asher was just a name and a dream in a notebook somewhere. i'm realizing just how different your first and second baby really are. at least it has been different for me. when roman was a toddler, he was my only and my everything. we lived in a one bedroom apartment and everything had a place. we took little adventures together, taking photos, going to the park, walking to daddy's work, picking dandelions and putting them in a basket. life was so much slower and roman was our world and our every moment. looking back i feel like i was just a girl playing house.

with the second baby, i feel like we are a real family and there are all sorts of real life family things going on. asher doesn't get every moment of my attention and it's going by super super fast. last night i took asher to the grocery by myself. i hardly ever go anywhere with just him. it was nice to be able to focus on my asher. it was so sweet to look at my second baby, sitting in the cart, wearing his brother's hand me downs and jibber jabbering away. later, asher and i spent some more alone time together while aaron + roman went to town. i gave him his first haircut in the bath and we playing with a little car together. i was so thankful for this time with my littlest. sometimes it is unsettling to me that i don't get to spend all my attention on asher like i was able to with roman for three years. i feel the need for everything to slow down so that i can get it all right, all these memories and moments. so yesterday it was nice to take a time out from everything family and have a few moments alone with  my littlest. to remember how special and perfect and wonderful he is, and how much i longed and wanted and waited for him.

roman.

just a little roman love...

life right now.

everything is back to "busy" around our house. however, our version of busy isn't terribly busy in comparison - so for that i am grateful.

summer is officially over, in a way. the weather is still mostly warm which is good because i can't bear to think about winter, christmas, thanksgiving, halloween, snow, ice, space heaters, coats,  boots, socks or anything related to COLD. there have been some sweaters and long-sleeved shirts here and there, and it's hard to admit but i've somewhat enjoyed it. hopefully by the time winter comes i will feel better prepared for it. and maybe not living in the middle of nowhere in a huge terribly cold farmhouse will help.

aaron and i have been back in school for 2 weeks now. there has been lots of whining, but also some happiness on both ends. we both feel a little more motivated this year. there is just more peace and clarity in our decisions right now and we have bigger goals and plans and priorities in mind. not to say that we have it all figured out in the least. i'm taking one class on campus this semester and one online. the best part about my on campus class is that aaron and the boys have taken me both weeks so far! i am so happy about that because i love long drives with my family and my coffee. (our school is over an hour away.)

there are homeschooling books all over the place. (i'll mention our start back to homeschooling another day.) we finally went to the library in the little town we live in (usually we go to the one in another town nearby) - and i was nicely surprised with it! i get to a point where i feel like i've read every book of interest in a library, so it is always nice to find a new one :)

we are moving sooner than later.  leaving behind all these pretty painted walls with nice lighting pouring in the windows and all the corn and soy bean fields makes my heart cringe. our new house has an adorable upstairs with white walls and wood floors and it has lots of trees and a woodsy feel - so that is good. and i like change. i actually LIKE moving. so for those reasons i am excited and happy.

these photos were taken at the end of july, the evening before asher's birthday at our neighbor's wood pile. i love how they are doing almost the exact same thing in these photos, it weirds me out when that happens. i guess they are truly brothers. and in just over a month they have already grown a little older and longer and bigger. sigh.

happy weekend.

many wishes for a weekend filled with cardboard box rocket ships, 

baby blond curls 

and rediculously cute little faces to you all!

grilling out + roman photos.

just some photos i took a couple weeks ago when we were waiting at the park to grill out with aaron's parents...
asher growing big and tall,

 baby bed hair

and asher and daddy hanging out. i always love how those two look together :)

roman didn't make an appearance in my photos that day, but he did agree to take some photos of asher and i in front of the silos that are across the street from our house.

we always try to keep roman awake on our way home by saying, "whoever sees the silos first wins!." i don't even know how many times we've said that phrase along with, "do you see the silos?" keeping roman awake is always a challenge and if he naps - it's a nightmare at night. it's so sweet because now he always pretends that he doesn't see the silos to give us a chance to "win" or he says, "the whole family wins!" love that little voice in the backseat. i still always think of the house we lived in when he turned two and how his teeny little 2 year old voice sounded when he said, "we're home!" from the backseat  as we pulled in. :) these little memories are some of the best for sure.

brothers.

bath time :)

little.

"you can always call me little, but i won't always be little."

this is what roman said to me the other night and it broke my heart as motherhood always does. these photos were taken a while back and they definately capture a little bit of the sweetness that is roman. his namaw and papaw bought this curious george for him on his second Christmas and that round little sweet monkey face reminded me just of roman as a toddler. he has certainly already grown since these photos were taken in june. another summer has passed leaving him a little bigger. but he is still  just as sugary sweet and precious to me as the day he was born. and he still has that bright shining round smiling face. i'm thankful that i can always call him little,

 and i'm thankful that today he still is.

end of summer + computer photos.

we've totally been immersed in and enjoying the end of our summer and also the end of our life here in our country home. i just haven't been taking photos, haven't been working out, and have been spending more time just soaking in summer and the days at home with my littles.

 life lately has been full of cleaning and organizing like a maniac, beginning to pack, signing a lease on our new  house in town that is tucked away just enough to make us feel like we aren't in town (thank goodness for my husband's fantastic house finding abilities), deciding on classes for the fall (i STILL have yet to register...), swirling ideas for romey's homeschool going on in my head constantly, joking around with roman and hearing all his wonderful plans for his "school" that he is creating, watching asher change from a baby to a toddler in a blink of an eye, cudding with aaron as the weather slowly is changing to fall.

and slowly accepting the change of it all ;)

time with my oldest boy during asher's nap.

and i had to include this one of asher when he fell asleep on my shoulder :)

brothers.

 yes, every morning around here pretty much starts with roman in tears because asher is attempting to yank roman's hair out.sweet little asher is a total lover of biting and swiping us in the face. i don't know what it is, but he seriously loves to attack us. i guess maybe the reaction is just so exciting to him. i'm not for sure, but he just delights in kicking me in the face as hard as he can, or trying to bite my face off. it can be very trying at moments.
and i've realized by watching my four year old's reaction to this, that roman displays much more patience than i do. i may not cry out as much as roman does, although i definately have my, "ASHER" moments when he is yanking my hair out and kicking me in the face at the same time... but roman is quick to forgive and overall has been amazing with having a fighting biting little brother who doesn't share and doesn't cooperate!
 i want to say that i am more mature and patient and kind than a four year, but some days i really feel like it is the other way around. it's amazing the things that our little ones teach us. roman, with his gentle love towards our family inspires me. so here's to today - a day for me that will probably be filled with listening to roman's plans for his newest creation,  "spooky buddies" and yes probably a few bites from my littlest. hopefully i can handle it with as much grace as a four year old :)

brown county, indiana. 

(p.s. this was taken on our vacation when roman still had a terrible black eye from running into a picnic table!)

zero.

just some photos from asher's last day of being "zero", the day before his first birthday. the birthdays of my little boys always stress me to no end. i don't like that they are getting older, i don't like it one bit. the evening before asher turned one, i tried reasoning myself. i know that his first birthday is a good milestone. asher came into my world with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck and his lungs filled with fluid. he was taken from me and no one could tell me that he would be okay. but now he is more than okay, he is wonderful and perfect and i cannot imagine him not being with me. so thank God that he is one, i know that is a good thing. but it's just hard for me to see these days passing away. i want to hold onto them so hard, i never want to let them go. i know that these moments will be the best in my life.

eleven months.

it is asher's last few days as an eleven month old and then he's on to the big one year mark. eek. i took these photos at a playground during our trip last week, so i thought i'd share a little bit of the wonderful that is our asher at eleven months. 

he is snuggly and cuddly, kissy and huggy as ever. he loves to explore and especially eat rocks. he loves the boys' bedroom and has all sorts of adventures in there such as finding the swords and golf clubs or climbing into the toy box and any other basket or box he can squeeze into. 

he loves my hair and loves to sing, he is such a special part of our lives. last night aaron said to me as the boys were wrestling on our bed, "having a second boy was a really good idea." 

and it was, 

asher is the little bit of magic in our days. 

our "littlest". our "happiest".

my four year old right now.

of course everyone thinks that their child is the best in the world, and my feelings about roman are no different. roman is such a gift. i am seeing him just explode into the person that he is. he has such determination and such a fascinating mind. when he gets an idea, he has to get to work and busy himself with it for hours or even days. whether it be science experiments that he is conducting in the bathroom sink or working on his collections of random small objects or making "set ups" of any number of random things - he is always working, creating and organizing. he is very scientific and he thrives reading science books that are way above his age level. he is a self proclaimed artist and sometimes at night he can't sleep until he draws - getting down on paper all the things swirling around in his busy mind. he loves to read books and is continuing to learn sounds and sight words. i have thrown in the towel as far as organized homeschooling for the summer but i keep thinking about next year and how excited i am to nurture this creative smart young mind.

to my almost one year old.

to my almost one year old:

oh asher, 

your big open mouthed kisses, your curly wispy blond hair, your ever-willing smile, your wiggling and giggling on the bed, the way you tip your head back and do your ridiculous old man chuckle, the way you sing with me, the way you great each morning with hugs and kisses and cuddles.

oh asher,

 you are the sweet happy sunshine in my sky.

thank you for coming into my life, 

for growing inside me, for bringing me life and birth and new love, 

for allowing me to mother and cherish you
all the days of my life.