teddy bear.

ok, so these are obviously old, but i think that they are too special to never share.
i have so many photos of this boy, of these boys of mine.
and they sit on my computer. or on disks. or on flashdrives. and my computer is jam stuffed FULL,
 it always is.
lightroom has 16,000 photos on it right now. as usual.
i have client sessions backed up all over the place in no particular order.
i am a disorganized mess. with random photo albums + half started projects here and there and everywhere.
with all these photos, yet none on my wall.
with visions and dreams of what to do with them, but never really doing much...
honestly it stresses me out sometimes.
 but in reality, it doesn't really matter. at all.
i kind of like being a disorganized mess - thank you very much.
and at the end of the day, it means nothing if the baby book is caught up,
or if i have a  baby book at all.
i'll get around to it, and if i don't, it's okay.
i just want to appreciate my photos for what they are - real moments in time with my blessings.

so, here are some photos from last spring to enjoy, at our last home, when asher was 10 months old.
playing in the back yard with his teddy bear that aunt hillary brought him from europe.

oh these boys, and these days. a dream come true.

p.s. how do you all organize family photos?? i would LOVE some ideas.
you know, ideas that i may never get around to doing ;)
also, do any of you have suggestions on a good external hard drive? 

 

happy friday.

today has been

daddy sleeping in after working all night, then getting up + going back to work,

pbs kids + a long baby nap,

tidying + cleaning up broken glass,

eating sweet potato fries while brothers fight in the bath,

a load of laundry in a broken washer, 

and nursing in the 4 o'clock sunshine.

thankful that the worst of the week is over.
and thankful that the worst really wasn't that bad after all ;)

happy friday to you all!

my spearmint baby post this week ;)

nineteen months.

nineteen months.

oh my.

facing the reality that nineteen months has passed since asher's birth is simply unreal. just a moment ago i was folding tiny newborn gowns + reading spiritual midwifery in the sunshine on the back porch, preparing for a new little life. and now, over a year and a half later - our asher is almost a little boy. pushing his chair up to the sink so that he can grab my yesterday's coffee that sits inside. taking liberties to take his own diaper off when it's time for a change, singing the "mama" song that he composed himself, counting to three in his own little way. closer to two than one.

when the days were slower and asher was itty bitty, i often used to talk to him at night as he nursed to sleep about when he came into my life. i'd pet and kiss his sweet little head and apologize for not being there during that first week when he stayed in the nicu.  one of his doctor's told me during that week, that soon asher would be home and healthy and the time in the nicu would seem distant and brief. in a way that is not true to me. it’s true that one week is a short amount of time, but that was OUR first week. there is something so wrong about a mother and baby being separated at birth. even though i was able to spend much time with him, provide all of his milk for him, and was lucky that his stay was so short - there are still moments that we were robbed from. sometimes now at bedtime, i still go back to the beginning. i tell asher how much he means to me. nineteen months later i am still thankful that God answered my prayers and healed asher. that first week was hard, but for every first moment that was lost, i've now had nineteen months of asher in my arms each and every night to make up for it. and for that i will always be grateful.

Asher at eighteen months.

get away.

for valentine’s day, aaron (kind of) surprised me with a night at the lodge. i say "kind of" because aaron and i can never keep secrets from each other and are the worst at surprises in the whole world, so naturally the surprise didn't last all the way until valentine’s day...

we had overlapping family members to babysit for a while on wednesday evening, so aaron and i went out for chinese food and hung out alone for a while. then we picked up our babies and spent the night and morning at the lodge before i had to go to school for an exam. we love spending time there, its cozy and old and is just a little mini vacation even though it's now only about 15 minutes away from where we live;) we've been going there for years and it holds lots and lots of memories for us, from dating to marriage to one baby to two. one night was not enough time away for me, but it was so nice to have a chance to connect with aaron and spend time in the game room with roman (one of our favorite things to do!). it was also fun to see my two boys running ahead of me down the halls. i can remember being at the lodge when it was just our little family of 3 and dreaming of having two little ones and now that dream is a sweet and precious reality in my life.

i love getting away, and am cringing at the thought that we probably won't go anywhere for our spring break/seven year wedding anniversary this year. it would be fun, but it would be a better idea for us to put that money away for bigger and better adventures that we are hoping to put into the works soon!

// and yes, roman has a broken arm! for the SECOND time in his life. his cast comes off in 

about two weeks. i love that he chose pink and green for his colors :)//

so good.

just some photos from last night. i took them with my computer and they are dark and blurry and horrible quality, and i wouldn't have them any other way. sometimes getting the perfect photo becomes exhausting and meaningless. and these photos to me are full of purpose and love.
 asher and i got to spend a little time alone last night - taking these photos, playing our hug and tickle game, and then i nursed him to sleep as he played with my hair of course. and as i watched his little face up on the screen, i just felt in awe. he is beautiful. and wonderful. these asher baby days are a whirlwind all around me, but i got a little chance tonight to step back and see what a beautiful little soul i have in my life. it isn't always perfect, but God is always good. so good.

visit me today at spearmint baby :)